A few days ago I came home with this pot of purple crocuses. It's amazing how bringing a bit of nature indoors, in particular flowers so representative of springtime, can lift your spirits. The store only offered purple flowers, but I don't think any colour but purple would do the trick for me right now. (The beautiful lavender sachets are from Elena and Martin's garden outside Geneva). As much as I love pink, yellow and pastels altogether, purple reminded me of the meaning of Easter, of loss and of renewal. Now I feel I should say I am a fairly lapsed Catholic, and I'm not about to start handing out pamphlets or circulating the donation basket. (Not that I disagree with those who do, I'm just lazy). But purple reminded me of the Passion, enough to Google it and re-familiarize myself with what that truly means.
I can't explain what death and renewal mean to others, but this Easter falls at a time when a lovely friend of mine has just left this earth, and she'll be buried this week. And as much I am sad, I know it is a drop in the bucket compared to the journey her immediate family is on, and will be on for the rest of their lives. My dad, Albert, died in 1996 and there are days when it hits anew that he is gone, and that as far as I know, I won't see him again. I think I'll be with him in some way someday, but my faith isn't so strong that I take it for granted. I wish it was. And with my friend Anne's passing, I realize that suffering is a very real part of life; it was for her, it was, is and will be for her family.
I hope that the end of life as we know it truly is part of the bigger cycle of things, and like buds on the trees human beings only retire from view to burst forth in some wonderful and surprising beyond what we could ever imagine. Surely, if grief and sadness can propel us into a realm we never knew existed, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, then there must be moments of joy equally beyond what we ever dreamed possible.